Boys, Masturbation and Porn (Part 1)

Boys, Masturbation and Porn (Part 1)

Why do boys masturbate, is masturbation a learned behavior or it is spontaneous, is there such a thing as healthy masturbation or addictive masturbation, are there health benefits in masturbating, what do you do when you find your boy masturbating, can boys break free from masturbation?


Masturbation in its simplest form is fondling with one’s genital for sensual purposes. There are however varying degrees of masturbation…from the innocent and curious exploration of a child to the compulsive behavior arising from continuous indulgence. Then there is the use of sex objects and then, there is another aspect which is not very common…imagination masturbation. 

Let’s start by discussing the physiological makeup of a boy. 

The average age of puberty in boys is 12 years. But of course we have the early starters (from 10 years) and the late starters (14 years).

 
One of the signs of puberty in boys is the sensitivity of the penis. This happens because the biological makeup is changing as the boy is transiting into adulthood. So it is typical for the boy to experience frequent erections…even when there is no physical stimulus. 

Some boys would find this development very confusing especially where they do not have a good guide and appropriate information about the changes occurring in their bodies. 

Another point to note is that at this age, a boy might already be having wet dreams and producing semen. Some start as early as 10 years of age while some won’t experience it until the age of 14. I happened to have fallen in the last group. Nothing is cast in stones here, it’s all about the uniqueness of our individual bodies. 

In responding to this sometimes erratic erections and sensual feelings, one of the things boys do is to fondle with their penis. Now this in itself is not a bad thing or something to be worried about. As a matter of fact, it is a healthy behavior. Majority of us did it. I would say it is a spontaneous or instinctive reaction, it is part of a boy’s personal exploration in understanding the changes going on within him.

I once facilitated in a sex education program for children where I was assigned to take a group of about 25 boys within the age bracket of 10 to 14 years. I used the opportunity to conduct a mini survey. 

In the group, 3 boys, of 13 years old, admitted to having frequent wet dreams. A boy of 11 also admitted to same. A boy who just clock 14 at the time said he had never ejaculated before. 

All the boys in the group admitted to having sexual urges. I could recall having to explain to 2 of the boys of about 11 years old that their sexual urges are perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. 

Definitely, the experience would be different with boys that have either been exposed to sexual materials or are already sexually active especially through rape. And this was my personal experience…well, you already know my story. And this takes us to the aspect of active and deliberate masturbation amongst teenage boys and preteens. 


To be continued….#LettersToFathers #BoysLivesMatter

 

Abolaji Dairo is an social advocate, father’s advocate,boys advocate,meme lover and an insurance.