BOYS AND PEER PRESSURE

We decided to visit a boys correctional facility to spend time motivating and having a good time with them with other boys advocates. It was an eye opener to the world of juvenile deliquency,I was particularly interested in finding out what led to the boys been admitted to the facility and one crucial factor that stood out was PEER PRESSURE.

Boys live under undue pressure to confirm to certain behaviour in line with the boy code. By the time they enter teenage years they come under severe pressure to conform and belong from their peers. Failure to comply usually result been mocked, ridiculed and been labelled weak.

A couple of years ago I read on a blog online where a couple of young men were arrested for a gang rape of a teenage girl,what was shocking was a 10 year old boy was also paraded as one of the rapist. He was used to lure the girl to the spot and then she was ganged raped,he was also told to take part in the gang rape and he did. It was sad to see his picture paraded online as a rapist. Are you wondering why he was in their midst,it’s all tied to peer pressure.

PRESSURES BOYS FACES

  • Pressure to break rules.
  • Pressure to date.
  • Pressure to have sex.
  • Pressure to join cult.
  • Pressure to do drugs.
  • Pressure to vape.
  • Pressure to consume alcohol.
  • Pressure to always act strong and tough.
  • Pressure not to show fear or anxiety.
  • Pressure not to cry.
  • Pressure to indulge in crime.
  • Pressure to rape.
  • Pressure to watch pornography.

CAUSES OF PEER PRESSURE

  • Low self-esteem.
  • Fear of rejection.
  • No value system.
  • Failed parenting.
  • Being a people pleaser.
  • Not assertive.
  • Avoid bullying.
  • Mental issuses.
  • Need to fit in and belong.
  • Wrong company.

EFFECTS OF PEER PRESSURE

  • Joins a cult or a criminal gang.
  • Becomes a drug addict.
  • Abuses alcohol.
  • Sexual promiscuity.
  • Low grade at school.
  • Runaway from home.
  • Accident and death.
  • Mental illness.
  • Change in looks and appearances titling the wide side.
  • Change in personality,becomes aggressive or moody.
  • Change in religion or political idealogy.
  • Eating disorder.
  • Sexual transmitted diseases.

CURBING PEER PRESSURE

  • Parents should build self esteem in their boys.
  • Schools should begin to have conversations on the consequences of peer
  • pressure.
  • Encourage your boy to join inspirational Teen clubs and support groups.
  • Instill a sense of value and purpose in your boy from quite an early age.
  • Schools should create conseling forums ,an arena boys can access intervention against peer pressure.
  • Parent should monitor and observe their boys.
  • Parents should form close bonds with their boys so they can confide in them easily.
  • Parents should know friends of their sons.

Parental guidance filled with love and care is an important intervention tool to helping your son handle peer pressure. I raise my son with the capacity to say no even to me once he is able to bring strong reason to defend his NO.

If you noticed your son is under the influence of bad company,it’s time to quickly intervene before it gets out of control,if it means relocating him from his present environment,then relocate,if it will entail a change of school,then change his school,if it means putting him in a correctional facility,by so means do so,if it involves him going to rehabilitation center,then let him go,if it will entail seeing a psychologist or joining a support group,then get him one. Most importantly he needs to know you love him and you re willing to go to any length to help him. This is not the time to humiliate or denigrate or publicly embarrass him.

Remember the road to recovery isn’t easy ,as a parent or guardian you need to be patient, calm ,assertive and model the change you want to see in your son. For every little progress he accomplishes, reward him for his efforts,build his self esteem back,surround him with prayers and constantly pour words or chant greatness into him. Let him understand he has a responsibility to fix himself and prove himself .

In hindsight it’s important from an early age we teach our sons how to combat peer pressure. A couple of days ago I stumbled on amazing videos to help my 9 year old son understand what peer pressure was all about and how to say NO. To also speak up and not be afraid to express his resentment to an issuse he isn’t comfortable with and walk away. I have had the privilege to have talk session with my son on drug abuse,sexual abuse,cultism, smoking,alcoholism and it’s impact on his life. I feed him with doses of affirmative words to build his self esteem.

Finally I surround my son with prayers commiting him into the hands of the almighty God to watch over him.

I have also picked him a male mentor to have conversations on male inspirational talk since am a single parent. Having a male figure who inspires him is key.

If you son is in crisis,reach out to me and let’s help him navigate his way back to the right path.

#boyslivesmatter