THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE BOY

Boys are unique human being, each with his given personality and temperament.

Who is a highly sensitive boy?

I saw a post on face book of a mom who expressed concerns over her 9 year old son who she termed weak- natured because he was too emotional ,kept to himself most of the time, rarely wants to play with other kids. while his peers engaged in sporting activities she finds he prefers staying at home, he is quite fearful, cries a lot when teased, bullied or verbally corrected. She finds his constant meltdown troubling and not doing too good at school.

I guess the mom is not aware of the term highly sensitive boy.

HOW TO KNOW A BOY IS HIGHILY SENSITIVE

  1. heyour voice at him.

  2. Loves hugs, been held and snuggles a lot.

  3. He is not aggressive nor assertive.

  4. Picky eater.

  5. Can feel deeply a sense of shame and guilt.

  6. He dose not like crowded spaces.

  7. Sensitive to pain and violent movies and cartoon.

  8. He takes mistake too personally.

    Deeply affected by what they see, smell ,taste and touch.

I listened to Ted Zeff from his book: The Strong Sensitive Boy- he said ”Sensitive boys are

Compassionate.

Gentle.

Act as peace makers.

Concern about the human treatment of animals.

Creative.

Intuitive.

Can easily empathize

Dr Elaine N. Aron, expert on sensitivity and originator of the concept of the highly sensitive person, encourages parents to view sensitivity as a gift. There is nothing feminine about being sensitive, we live in a world where it is seen as a burden but its actually a gift to humanity that is why sensitive people are change makers, human right activist, great teachers, counselors, care-givers , climate change activist. What would the world look like without people like these?

In their book: [Rasing Cain], authors Dan Lindlon and Michael Thompson stated that if boys express emotions such as fear, anxiety , or sadness, they are commonly seen as exhibiting feminine traits. The effect on males of having to conform to wearing a tough-guy mask creates suffering on both personal and societal level and its particularly devastating for the sensitive boy. Do we even realize how many males disassociate themselves from their sensitive sides and this is what is expected from every boy as he grows up.

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A SENSITIVE BOY

  • Toughen up son.

  • You are too emotional

  • Stop pretending it hurts

  • Stop crying like a girl.

  • Stop manipulating me.

  • Grow up.

  • Look at your brother he behaves more maturely.

  • I don’t like your behavior.

  • You are a disgrace to this family.

EFFECT OF DEGRADING A SENSITIVE BOY

  1. from low self esteem.

  2. Feel something is wrong with him.

  3. Mental disorder.

  4. Susceptible to sexual abuse.

  5. Depression.

  6. Suicidal.

  7. Low academic performance.

  8. Indulge in drugs and alcohol.

  9. Engage in risky sexual beheviour

  10. Join cults to toughen him up.

HOW DO I CARE FOR A HIGHLY SENSITVE BOY

  1. Appreciate his sensitive personality.

  2. Teach him an ” I don’t care attitude towards teasing by other kids and adults.

  3. Encourage him to partake in outdoor activities.

  4. Ensure his school teachers and other family members is aware of his personalit and how to manage him.

  5. Gentle discipline and correctional methods will work for him.

  6. Teach him to learn how to express himself and specify what he wants.

  7. Teach him time-out from a hostile situation which involves walking away.

  8. Show him how to carry out breathing exercise when he feels overwhelmed emotionally.

  9. Stand up for him if he is been bullied, let him know you will fight for him.

  10. Never condone him been battered publicly,

  11. Celebrate him.

    A SENSITIVE BOY IS A BLESSING TO HIS WORLD

Looking forward to hearing from you and sharing tales about your sensitive son.

#BOYSLIVESMATTER